Girls, you’re going to have small boobs

The title pretty much says it all. Daughters of mine, I am proud to bestow upon you a lifetime of very little cleavage. If you end up having some, it will be due to either a weird genetic mishap or the combination of hormones and endocrine disruptive chemicals in our environment that have made you have an early and productive puberty. (I hope this isn’t the case!)

But dear daughters, this is what I want you to know about having small breasts. They’re fabulous.

That is my little secret.

For some reason, the world is currently obsessed with large breasts to the point that women and girls with lovely small breasts are cutting theirs and mutilating their body for larger ones. Please don’t do this dear daughters. Love and cherish your beautiful small breasts.

Small breasts are elegant and proud. They carry much sweetness in a dainty package. They never hurt when you exercise. They never become the focus of people’s interactions with you. They will do a perfect job at providing milk for your children (I never had milk-supply problems). When you are finished nursing, they keep their shape quite well.

Small breasts are beautiful and sexy and I hope you’ll love yours. Because God made you and God is the supreme artist.

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